Some marriages are incredibly inspiring. Both partners honor and respect each other deeply.
Having shared countless experiences over the years, these couples have a powerful bond built on a foundation of love. They embody healthy monogamy.
However, there are also couples who are incredibly draining to be around. Their foundation seems to be built on insecurity, jealousy and self-centeredness. These relationships can be described by an emerging term, “toxic monogamy.”
What Toxic Monogamy Looks Like
References to “toxic monogamy culture” began appearing online in 2017. In short, toxic monogamy describes relationships built upon insecurity and unrealistic expectations. The term resonated because it was intuitively understood by anyone who heard it.
Therapist Elizabeth Earnshaw, LMFT, asserts that our culture romanticizes behavior that’s actually rooted in jealousy, anger or resentment. Imagine the insecure husband who refuses to allow his wife to have any male friends or vice versa. This behavior is not romantic; it’s controlling and coming from a place of fear.
Toxic monogamy also emerges when we have unrealistic expectations of marriage, assuming one person can somehow fulfill your every emotional need and magically be able to make you whole.
Toxic Monogamy in our Churches
Churches are made up of flawed people who embody the overarching culture they live in. So, when our society displays toxic monogamy values, this is often reflected in our churches.
Read more at Does Your Church Struggle With Toxic Monogamy?