Charisma | Unequally Yoked? 5 Ways You Can Love and Bless Your Unbelieving Spouse

Being married to a nonbeliever can feel a lot like going to war in your own home daily. The disagreements that arise can feel defeating and make you feel like it’s you versus your spouse. But I believe the Bible when it says, “Love covers a multitude of sins” in 1 Peter 4:8b. If you’re struggling to love, here are some practical ways to bless your marriage that you can do today.

  1. Pray: When was the last time you prayed for your spouse? Like, really prayed for them? More than “God save them.” I’m guilty of this myself. If we are serious about keeping our marriage healthy, we’ve got to pray like it. Pray for their day and for them to be blessed. Pray for God to show up in extraordinary ways and that they feel loved by Him. Pray they do well at work. Pray for their friendships and their families. Pray for blessings over your marriage. Pray for them to be a kind, generous, loving parent (if you have or are planning on having kids). Pray that God uses them in their unbelief. Pray for protection from the enemy for them. If you aren’t sure where to start, there are lots of books available as a resource for praying for your spouse.
  1. Cut them some slack: As a believer, we are held to some standards that our unbelieving partners are not. In our union of marriage and becoming one, it’s hard to watch our significant others indulge in things that we shouldn’t. But holding them to the same standard isn’t fair and can be damaging to our relationships.

The Bible talks about not being drunk (Eph. 5:18, Rom. 13:13, Gal. 5:21), so I don’t drink all that often, but if I do, I limit myself to tolerance level. I used to hold my husband to this standard. I would be so upset and offended when he would become intoxicated. But the truth is, he isn’t a Christian, so why would he abide by the Bible? Just because we believe something and want to live by, doesn’t mean we can expect our partners to do the same. They may even encourage us to indulge in activities with them. These moments are where it feels like we are at war. Have a conversation with your spouse about your boundaries. Ask them not to cross them and not to invite you to participate in something that would cross them. Lovingly explain why this is important to you.

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